Write down what details you notice about their behavior. For example, perhaps whenever you speak to them, they ignore you. Write out exactly what happens.
For instance, maybe they got bad news at school and when you went to talk to them, they pushed you away. The bad news probably caused them to act that way, which means it may not have been about you at all. [2] X Research source Another example may involve you leaving a friend out of a game unintentionally. Because they were left out, they may act upset and lash out at you. Recognizing what you did wrong and apologizing may resolve the problem. Don’t lose your own perspective when doing this. Even if you understand their motivations, you don’t have to forgive or agree with them if you are hurt by their actions.
You might ask, “Hey, I’ve noticed that Regina seems really mean lately. Have you noticed that?”
However, if you can’t find a clear reason or if you suspect they are specifically directing their behavior towards you, you might choose to confront them about it. You may need to determine if the person is important enough to you that you are willing to let the issue slide.
You might say, “Hey, Bob, can I steal you away to talk for a moment?”
State what you have clearly seen, like “I’ve noticed each time I greet you this week, you haven’t said anything back. ” Then, let them know how it affected you by adding something like, “Being ignored really hurt my feelings. ”[6] X Research source
You might ask by saying something like, “Can you explain why you’ve been treating me this way?” Note that they may deny the behavior or refuse to explain. Some may even try to blame you for their actions.
For instance, using the above example, you might say, “If you keep ignoring my greetings, I will stop saying hello. ” Another example might involve reacting to someone who insulted you. Your boundary might sound like, “Please do not call me that name anymore. If you do, I will tell the teacher. ”
If they ask why you have withdrawn, simply say, “I did that to protect myself because you were not treating me how I expect to be treated. ”
For example, you shouldn’t belittle or speak negatively about yourself to others. Walk and act with confidence, with your chin up and shoulders pulled back. You can also show people how to treat you by clearly asking for what you need (“I really need someone to talk to. ”) and by reinforcing when someone is treating you appropriately (“Thank you so much for respecting my privacy. ”). [10] X Research source
